This Thursday, i continued listening to those songs after working hours. It was a nice mixed collection of rock, metal, pop and Indian films. I was not bothering much to the lyrics, but the music was pleasing me. I was listening to such loud music after a long time. And the music turned my lousy day into energetic evening. I went to Durergasse enjoying the same trance. Thursdays are very special in Vienna. I can do my long kriya, sing some good songs with the group. It is fun always.
But this time it was a little bit more. I had a wonderful long kriya that day. I remember, when I was done with the kriya and heard Guruji saying, “if you wish, you may lie down” and I wanted to but I couldn’t. I was frozen. And then I noticed, I was not breathing then, for a noticeable long time probably and I continued it for some more time. in fact I wasn’t doing that. It was happening to me. it was effortless.. and it was beautiful. in that state, I realized, i had no thoughts, no wish, nothing to do, I realized, I was but I wasn’t anybody. i was that nobody. I felt very light.
And then breaking those moments, my first breath was in.
Was that a meditation? Was that trailer of Samadhi? I don’t know! and I don’t bother!
I just know that I lived those beautiful moments of my life. I was alive, satisfied, feeling complete and whole..
and nothing else matters 🙂